coming home.

"There is a moment in time that I cannot quite pin down, when what I know now as joy and light would be the only competitors." 

- Musings from my Journal from 18 May Wellspring Writing Circle, "When did you most feel yourself?" prompt.

The idea of coming home is a big bowl of chicken soup on the coldest, rainiest days.  With a table full of your nearest and dearest, the fire place is lit, and the play list is on point the entire time.  

The idea of coming home is also an introspection. A seeking.  A curiosity.  A wonder.  A bravery to hug yourself and also give yourself the push you need to become.  To really become.  Not in the way they would like, but the way you have always wanted to.  

This month I joined a writing circle for an afternoon.  We sat in a garden, at a community table, on the most beautiful spring day.  The afternoon was filled with relatable company, smiles, laughter, intentional and meaningful conversation, and insightful musings.  

The theme of the day surrounded the idea of "coming home to yourself".  It felt cozy, safe, and a trustworthy space to get curious with ourselves individually and as a group.  Conversations that needed to be had, but a beautiful way to dive deep and have the conversation with yourself.  Whatever that looked like.  Maybe for the first time for some, maybe for the 100th time for others.  Maybe this was the time that something finally clicked.  That a little niggle finally unraveling into something whole, seen, fed, ignited.

This was not my scene 5 years ago.  Ask anyone, the vulnerability of taking up space, being heard, allowing myself to be human in front of other humans.  Whoa, friends. Thirty something year old Sam is dying of humiliation, her ego and her pride are very damaged and have a lot of work to do to undo all of this mess.  Oh and her anxiety is through the roof.  Will we ever again be able to be in the same room as these other humans who have witnessed all of this?  Probably not, we should move.  That's the new plan.  Move to a new country and start again. 

Aaahhh.  But that is not growth, that is not growing up, and that is not breaking cycles is it?  It is 2025 in case you didn't know.  Women are coming home to themselves more than ever before.  The world may be an utter mess, but this space, the one I keep and the one I crave, this serenity, this peace, this sanctuary where I lay my head, where I raise my pride and joy, this home I have created with my partner - they are sacred.  And deserve to be treated as such. 

This is the world I live in, it cannot mirror the world we all live in.  Not now.  We cannot just run away, up and move to a new body every time something feels uncomfortable (apparently, give it time, maybe ai will help with that in the future). But the more the individual homes find their solid footing in safety, wonder, creativity, and peace - the more the outside world will reflect that.  

I am OBSESSED with the idea that whenever there is a problem the answer is NEVER outside yourself.  It is ALWAYS answered by looking inward.  

If this doesn't scream womanhood, parenthood, adulthood, I don't know what does.  

In conversation with a friend recently, just for fun(!), we started discussing the Simulation Hypothesis (theory) that very simply put states we are living in a simulation created by ancient advanced civilizations.  The author of the proposed theory goes into the idea that we can only register/perceive what is in our view from one peripheral to the other, and of course its in the outer edges where the glitches lie.

If you are intrigued you can read the published Simulation Theory paper written by Nick Bostrom HERE.  This is one of the original versions, and has been revised over time, but the core idea still sparks curiosity.  It's another gentle nudge to think outside the box, reflect inwardly, and resist the pull of external noise. 

But of course, this made me think of how small our view can actually be.  Put aside the fact that we are in the most informed era of our history, and we can know it all if we choose, and how heavy of a burden that is to bear, we can only form our perceptions from what we know.  While also being open to the fluidity of that perception by new information received.  

This all sounds a bit techy, but the main point is - I can only view what it is in my line of sight, and wow does coming home to yourself narrow that field of vision even more.  It has to.  You cannot create a space of deep connection and comfort within yourself without turning your sights to the most narrow viewpoint and then also closing your eyes completely and looking (and listening) inside.  This is where you get curious, turn off the external noise, and really ask yourself - "what do really believe".  

In a way, this is exactly what photography, and all art, should really be.  When I ask myself what I really love to take photos of, how I really love to view (compose) those photos, and what makes me feel the warmest when I edit to magic finalization - those are the photos that make me crave going back out and doing it again. 

You will never be able to create your own magic by duplicating someone else's.  It just will never be the zing that makes you sing (ha!).

This is why I love the moments of movement and connection, and sometimes sheer chaos in my photos.  When you can feel an image - that is when you know its gooood.

And what an amazing opportunity to show someone what they look like in those moments.  Being in them, you can only feel them, and even then only when you're paying attention to them.  But to actually see yourself, from the outside perspective, what it looks like when you feel those moments - be still my soul.  

How poetic.  How nostalgic.  How completely in love with those images that make you feel those magic moments.  In thirty years you won't remember or care about the clothes or the location or maybe even remember who was taking the photo.  But the feelings - you'll be able to remember those feelings of pure joy and connection.  

That is why.  That is why I am here.  That is the good I get to leave behind whenever it is that I go.  Professionally, that is the music to my soul.  Gratitude in spades.  

And the thing is, I just figured this out recently.  Did I even ask myself what I wanted to leave behind before now?  Probably not.  I don't ever remember having a "why" before my partner and daughter came along.  Even then, those are "whys" outside myself.  But to really dig deep and ask yourself, "what is my why?".  

Try it now... what comes up for you? 

It could be constant and it could be evolving.  The more you grow, the more it will grow.  The clearer that vision will be and the more tuned in you'll become.  

Is that age? or is that growth?  Or a combination of the two?  Whichever, I'm thankful I get to be on this path.  

Now, I want to hear from you. 

What are your stories of coming home.  Of finding yourself.  Of your vision,  your why, your reason.  Of growing of believing of shifting and changing and becoming.  

Help me broaden my perspective, what is your contribution to this conversation?

And then I invite you to widen your perspective, allow yourself to be changed by someone else's point of view.  Then go deep, narrow it all and ask yourself "what do I really feel about this?"

Don't forget to share - it feels hard.  But it is such a feeling of clarity when you turn what it is in your head and your heart, into words and actions.  For example, during the writing circle I had an ah-ha moment that I was writing in third person to avoid getting personal on another level.  First person means getting really personal and subconsciously I just couldn't handle it.  Now that I'm aware I have been trying to change that.  I would have not found that piece of myself had I not dug deep, on that day, with that prompt, and those humans surrounding me. (maybe).

So find yourself an outlet, and now find yourself a group of like minded humans, and start digging.  Let them help you and you never know, your insights may also be light bulb moments for them too.  

What's Next?  

A lot of travel for me over the next couple of months.  Summer is almost over, and completely booked with experiences, friends, and fun.  And I am so excited but already exhausted.  

The June Chapter of Beautiful Things may be pushed into July or even skipped all together.  I'm giving myself this structure of monthly commitment while also allowing grace.  It depends on how travel goes and how tuned in I want/need to be. 

I'll also be incorporating a Newsletter style of communication here soon as well.  Maybe even this month, if I can map it out in time.   

So until next time, 

• Turn off the noise and ask yourself the real questions
• Find a way to find yourself 
• Stop and be mindful of everything around you at least once a day. 
• Share the beauty you find.  
• Share your perspective and let other's ideas allow it to shift. 

And finally come home.  Its the place that has all you need.

Photos in this chapter were captured during a styled session at Scarlet Springs Farm in Waterford, Virginia in May 2025 with co-photographer Becky Gardiner.  

Flowers by: Blooms2U

Food by: Between The Hills Events

Cake by: Wineberry Cakes

Tablescapes and Location by: Scarlet Springs Farm

If you need a local option for any of these items I highly suggest reaching out to any one of these vendors.  If you have a celebration, a wedding, a surprise proposal, or just want a beautiful day with an exhilarating view please reach out to Scarlet Springs Farm for booking details.

"The slow down to really get there.  To everywhere.  To create the space and the moments.  To feel there, and here.  To breathe here. To be here."

- Musings from my Journal from 18 May Wellspring Writing Circle, "What parts of you have you been missing?" prompt.

If you’re just joining me, A Journey of Beautiful Things is a monthly series that I write to bring to light the most precious moments I’ve witnessed, felt, or created – amidst all the chaotic noise I live through daily.  It’s a chance for you to get to know me a little better.  The person behind the camera is actually a person beyond the camera.  The person you’re letting into your life to capture your most precious moments.  This is a chance for us to connect and to relate with one another.  I’m a Woman, a Wife, a Mom, family photographer – not necessarily always in that order – just trying my very hardest to leave some good behind when I go and I know you are too.   

If you need to catch up here are the first chapters released:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Feel free to hit reply, or post a comment here, of how any of this can relate to you.  Let me know the season (beautiful or not) you're currently in and the recent moments you've lived where you have sought out or felt joy or beauty in some way.  Remember, constantly finding the beauty will make it second nature, and the beautiful moments will start finding you, and then find gratitude that you'll get to see them.

Until the next chapter, enjoy the journey...